Brand Girl™

I’m guessing that by now, you’re familiar with John Mayer’s infamous interview in Playboy Magazine. Yes, the one in which he refers to Jessica Simpson as ““crack cocaine”,” coins the phrase “”sexual napalm”” and confesses to a lusty addiction to pornography. Mayer, in the same unfiltered style, is now hard at work on his “”apology“” tour, rationalizing some of those “overshares,” as well as asking us not to think of him as “another  ”a**hole…”

Personally, I think this direct approach to the public mea culpa works. I also think Tiger Wood’s handlers might want to pull a page or two from the John Mayer playbook. Mayer may be back-pedaling for far less complicated sins, but still, unlike Woods in his recent public statement, he comes across authentically in his regrets for the Playboy hiccups, perhaps illustrating that an honest brand is better than an overly managed one. Or is it a manipulated one?

Well, there you have it… the drama NBC primetime has been missing. Another rendition of The Biggest Loser—without the skyrocketing Nielsen ratings or the fab new body, that is.

We now know that the experiment by NBC President and CEO Jeff Zucker to move Jay Leno from a successful, lucrative late-night time slot to a one-hour primetime one normally dedicated to drama was a mistake. The related financial gamble—that the cheaper cost of producing talk programming would outweigh any potential drop in ad revenues—was a bust, too. And what about the drop in audience numbers? Simply put, it appears that Zucker was wrong on many levels, and those questionable calls have cost the already bleeding network quite a lot of money.

(On a somewhat related note, I caught some of the Wall Street Barons testifying yesterday, and with regard to risk management, J.P. Morgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon commented that they never stress-tested the idea that housing costs would ever stop rising or fall 40%. Never tested that business model’s viability from a consumer perspective? Really? Hmm. But I digress.)

NBC chairman Jeff Gaspin admitted on Sunday that the [Leno/O'Brien] “solution”–the proposed quick fix to give Leno his old 11:35pm slot back and bump Conan and The Tonight Show to 12:05am–was, in fact, a compromise that wasn’t to either Leno’s or O’Brien’s satisfaction. Indeed, NBC execs privately wondered whether they had damaged all three brands—Leno, O’Brien, and The Tonight Show—in the process. No doubt a few of the mentioned icons (NBC included) will take some sort of brand slap, but as in our Wall Street scenario, we won’t know the extent of the damage until the whole story plays out. But I’m betting that whether O’Brien––or should I call him “Coco”?––retains the 11:35pm slot or not, he’s a winner, Mr. Gaspin (or can I call you Jeff?).

In a few short days, the Internet has gone frantic with support for O’Brien. When I last checked, L.A.-based designer Mike Mitchell’s “I’m with Coco” effort (reminiscent of the Shepard Fairey Obama “art” movement) had close to 80,000 fans. What’s to be gleaned? The generation that embraces Facebook, Twitter and YouTube embraces O’Brien. Yes, there’s an inherent need to preserve an institutional brand like The Tonight Show, but it’s also about letting the show and its brand evolve into the future by connecting with audiences. And social media, acting as a stress test of sorts, strongly indicates that O’Brien is connecting with audiences via new media, much like Obama did. So, Mr. Gaspin. Jeff. Please tell us that you and NBC see this trend and will consider it as part of the programming mix? Perhaps before some other misfire happens (moving 30 Rock and The Office to Friday at 2pm maybe?) and all hell really breaks loose.

The recent revelations of Tiger’s shenanigans have revealed a side of his brand persona that is a far cry from the one that has taken shape organically since he turned pro in 1996, the quintessentially American success story that won him the endorsements of many. His perceived image of strength, precision, and sportsmanship has earned multi-millions—through paid corporate sponsorships (with Gillette, Gatorade, and Nike, among many others) and private donations for his foundation. So the question is, how does Tiger’s not-so-stellar performance off the links tarnish his brand value now? The truth is that we will not know the true fall out until “his” whole story is out. But what we do know is that there is a lot at stake for everyone associated with the Woods camp, so initially there’s a strong incentive to keep the billion-dollar machine going. From that vantage point, throwing hush money—allegedly, millions are on offer to get various lovers to disappear and the beleaguered wife to stand by her man—to get back on course, fast, makes perfect cents.

In the end, a sponsor like Cadillac may think twice before sidling up to Tiger to launch the next über-mini van, and Accenture might steer clear of any ad concepts embodying the golf legend as a beacon of trust. Interestingly, however, Tiger never actively espoused the values associated with a family man. It’s more that people assumed they became part of his brand story when he married and had children. And some of us may also be assuming that Tiger is humbled to some degree and now mulling over the holes in his story. But then, you know what they say about assumptions.

“If I were a boy, even just for a day, I roll out of bed in the morning and throw on what I wanted and go…”––from “If I were a boy,” a popular song by Beyonce (a.k.a. SASHA FIERCE).

If Brand Girl were a Brand Boy, even for a day, she would roll out of bed in the morning and say what she wanted––and she’d be Jon Stewart.

It doesn’t quite work as a pop-song lyric, but the point is that like Brand Girl herself, Mr. Stewart has a knack for calling it like he sees it—up front and on camera. And the master of satirical news has done it again. Nobody wants to be mocked by Jon Stewart nor interrogated, but that’s exactly what happened to Jim Cramer, host of CNBC’s Mad Money.

After weeks of batting back media spitballs, Cramer finally met face-to-face with Jon Stewart, Comedy Central’s acclaimed Daily Show slugger, for a show down. Yet the meeting itself was more of a letdown, with Cramer practically served himself up on a silver platter for Stewart to slay. As if Cramer’s public humiliation could serve as a sufficient sacrificial offering to beg the money gods for forgiveness—for the dishonesty, greed, and wrongdoings of Cramer’s fellow financial-minded gurus, for the world’s tumultuous markets, indeed for the topsy-turvy state of our entire nation. It was indeed painful to watch as Stewart did a better-than-fine job of using his pulpit to sermonize. You almost had to feel a little sorry for Cramer in that balancing the job of television entertainment with the more serious job of offering financial expertise—and on managing the corporate purse strings especially—is no easy task. But of all the poignant statements that were made about the financial freefall we’re in, how could you not resonate with Stewart’s overall accusation to Cramer: “… to pretend that this was some sort of crazy, once-in-a-lifetime tsunami that nobody could have seen coming is disingenuous at best and criminal at worst.”

Like the Brand Boy said, everything we have known about the market is in shambles. Period. It’s a whole new game, and you know what, kids, according to my astrologer, it’s far from over. Bailouts, re-worked mortgages, and strings of 40%-off sales are just not going to be enough. Honestly, the money world is in such a state of anarchy that, much like Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner, whose face seems to have a constant deer-in-headlights expression these days, BG finds the whole business paralyzing. It’s as though we are, as a nation, playing an endless, rigged game of Monopoly, and we keep hoping some random act of nature—a gust of wind? an overzealous two-year-old careening through the living room? an overturned bottle of Merlot? the dog ate my mortgage?—upsets the existing board so that we have to wipe it clean and start over, with everyone safely returning to “Go” with a humbling $200 bucks in seed money.

The nation has cried out for change. And change we’ve seen: Obama’s hair has grayed already and he hasn’t been in office 100 days yet. Given that grim backdrop, how is it that Citibank, a bailout recipient whose stock is worth nothing today, continues to bombard the public with federally-funded ads that neither restore consumer confidence nor address past blunders? Should we as a collective be ignoring the irony? This week in particular, there’s much heat over AIG using its bailout funds to honor prior commitments (i.e., executive bonuses). How is it that those prior commitments still hold without any reality-based concessions? We have peeked behind the curtains; we understand there was no wizard, but there was much wizardry—or at least sleight of hand. The bailouts are being used by brands like AIG, Citibank, and Merrill Lynch as mere Band-aids on a body that’s hemorrhaging.

At what point does the bleeding stop and the healing truly start? It is undoubtedly time to revisit the basics of brand integrity, positioning, and core business. How do we advise clients to move forward? How do we as individuals move forward? I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I do know that both personal and corporate brands could benefit from a shot of self-regulation and serious Jon Stewart-esque self-reflection—exactly the qualities that have been so absent on Wall Street and from cable news “experts” like CNBC. And in the meantime, I’ll settle for a little less mad money and a little more Brand Boy Jon Stewart tough love. (And by the way, the next guy I’d line up for a little slapping around is that Chris Brown dude. Then I’ll throw him in a ring with Oprah, her audience, and SASHA FIERCE herself—and let the headlocks and biting begin…)

The boys are back–and navigating uncharted territory.

Ok. It comes as no surprise to “Entourage” fans that Medellin gets passed over at Cannes, which sends our hero Vince (Adrien Grenier) into seclusion—in true Hollywood form—on a remote island to repair his fallen ego with booze and babes… but getting to watch it all happen while on a romp from JFK to Las Vegas? How much fun can a girl (or boy) take?

For the launch of its fifth season of Entourage, HBO took to the sky by partnering with Virgin America and creating “Entourage Air.” “During the month of September, first-class guests on Virgin America’s new nonstop JFK-LAS route will fly ‘Entourage Class’ and receive A-list perks like noise-canceling headphones, champagne, Godiva chocolates, Kiehl’s personal products, Altoids and ‘Entourage Air’ blankets and eye masks.”

The stunt is significant also because it marks the “first-ever in-flight premiere of a cable or broadcast program in the domestic skies.” BG suspects it may very well mark the beginning of a new wave in purchasing ad space…

At a time where the airline industry continues to keep biting the hand that feeds them–the traveler, BG applauds the Virgin and Entourage partnership. Why? Because the two sexy brands are demographically suited and they are able to offer a unique, one-of-a-kind experience to hungry air travelers. What will be interesting to watch is how the airline industry pushes this trend further and decides to capitalize on ad placements within the planes themselves. Will they strike the delicate balance between advertising as part of the experience or will they barrage the captive consumer until they scream “Uncle!”? Ads in formerly forbidden places have gained acceptance–folks have adjusted to ads wedged in before movie trailers and then don’t forget the uber-billboarded and wall-papered highways, subways, bus stations, pedicabs and more all around us. So airplanes can’t be far behind… the question is: “Will they do it with a hammer or a feather?” The weary traveler—and even more tired consumer—will only accept so much in the name of generating revenue to, ahem!, offset operational costs.

A unique twist for Mr. Branson and his year-old start-up, Virgin America, is that 100% of the company’s revenue will fund development of clean fuel technology for its planes, a project that Sir Richard estimates could cost upwards of $3 billion. “Entourage” star Adrian Grenier shares Sir Richard’s passion for green, particularly in the eco sense—he’s coproducing a new show for the Discovery Channel called “The Green Life,” which is aimed at helping everyone make their lives more eco-friendly.

In addition to the September “Entourage” experiential bonanza and the panache of youth and celebrity marketing, Virgin’s green mission puts them ahead of the pack, lifting their brand miles higher than other, more pedestrian airlines. And young Mr. Grenier’s brand is getting his own little turbo boost too—BG hadn’t been particularly aware of him as “Mr. Green” before he became “Alter Eco” on Discovery and part of the “Entourage”/Virgin partnership. For some reason, BG’s a bit dubious of what feels like the sudden greening of Mr. Grenier… but overall she’s buying it. Those deep blue eyes would melt a glacier of suspicion…

Nope, not yet…

I woke up the other morning to an email Apple sent out to its universe of users, gifting MobileMe subscribers with a free 60 days of service to make up for recent outages and poor performance. I quote: “We know that MobileMe’s launch has not been our finest hour, and we truly appreciate your patience as we turn this around.” As they’ve shown time and again, apologies work and Apple’s brand keeps on powering on.

If only I could get my Mr. to own up like that . . .

I’m not a MobileMe subscriber – yet. I’m only a few months into the iPhone. Surprised? Well, this long-time Apple-loving girl knows that you don’t early adopt with Apple products. That is, unless you’re volunteering to pay to be part of Apple’s beta testing.

Afterall, remember the initial launch of the iPhone just about a year ago? It was heralded like the rockstar of of all techie events. But the gushing turned into an angry hiss when not too much later, Apple slashed the iPhone entry price a couple hundred bucks. “Boooooo!” said Apple believers. Apple’s response? Promptly hand out discount coupons to early adopters, issue teary-eyed apologies, and promise a better future. Aaaaah…all was right in the world again.

A little time goes by and then, just last month, Apple repeated this move, launching its newer, cheaper iPhone 3G. And the transition was hardly smooth. But that was nothing compared to what happened when along came MobileMe, (oddly, launched the very same day as the 3G) bringing with it a whole slew of security issues and technical difficulties. . . .

Isn’t it extraordinary that Apple gets away with these snafus one after another and still maintains its standing as a powerhouse brand? How, you ask, do they do it? Elementary branding techniques, my dears. Apple has been the ultimate community builder all along, and now, they have involved their users as an integral part of the beta research. And not only do they respond to what their users tell them, but Apple gives them recognition for their part in moving technology—and their company—forward. Consumers get to be part of a bigger “mission” and they respond by spreading the word.

Essentially, Apple has managed to make their new products more than just a launch—they make it an event. Apple has mastered the experience of . . . the experience. They’ve instilled in us the desire for Apple to succeed so they keep on rolling out products that push the convergence of mobile and web to the next level. We’re just doing our part and we know there’ll be some glitches here and there.

And just like boy and girl or Ellen and Portia – Apple knows that it takes commitment to common goals and the ability to say a heartfelt “I’m sorry” when the time calls for it to build a strong relationship. And a dozen roses or two doesn’t hurt either . . .

Incredibly, lots of them.

Fox News reports that one million people have paid as much as $.98 apiece to download Ashley Alexandra Dupré’s (a.k.a Kristen) song from MySpace and the boys are continuing to call… Vodka Brand Wants Call Girl to Be Latest ‘Butt Girl’

In less than a week, the girl that took down Governor Eliot Spitzer has many times, quadrupled her day rate, allegedly earning more than $200k in music sales. The Internet, technology and the American people have made this all possible –– a la ‘American Idol’ style; America voting for their flavor of the moment. May be a reason why some marketers think a “Butt-Girl” will work for them. Like Georgi Vodka, who has offered Ms. Dupré a low six figure deal to ride on the back of their bus (every pun intended). There’s even talk of creating a vodka brand called No. 9, inspired by Mr. Spitzer’s designation by the call-girl service. According to Ad Age, Star Industries CEO Martin Silver, who owns U.S. rights to the Georgi brand said, “his company sprung quickly because he felt the word-of-mouth buzz Ms. Dupré generates would boost his vodka’s profile and sales. He said he expects many other brands to, um, come calling.”

Can you blame a marketer for courting the flavor of the month? One that has seemingly wet the appetite of one million people over the course of three short days? Tempting I’m sure. However, I think the marketers at Georgi are skating a very thin line. Moral values aside, it may backfire on them. Georgi’s timing needed to be perfect and I think they’ve already missed the bus. Apparently you can find Dupre in the buff on the internet if you dig a little. Because of that, is her following going to care that she’s covered up in some ad? (Would they recognize her?) Never mind the fact that what makes this girl so special is that she dragged down one of the country’s powerhouses. Is that something to be honored? Isn’t a potential book deal and a poorly made-for-tv adaptation reward enough?

I’m no prud. I know sex sells, but I also know story book endings do too. I think both Georgi and Ms. Dupré should be courting brand alliances that raise the bar for all parties involved. Let’s not forget, there were millions more of Americans who didn’t — give THAT girl a dollar.

(Not to mention it would simply stink if Georgi named a possible vodka “No. 9.” If they do, I only hope it doesn’t drag down one of my favorite wines off their much deserved pedestal. No. 9. The Shiraz… from Marquis Phillips.)

I recently read that the Federal Communications Commission (FCC), charged with policing the airwaves (i.e., wardrobe malfunctions), intends to fine 52 ABC stations some 1.4 million for airing a 2003 episode of “NYPD BLUE” that revealed Charlotte Ross’s buttocks as she made her way into a shower. Seems kind of random that Kevin Martin, FCC Chairman (a little trivia here: used to work for Ken Starr of chasing Monica Lewinsky fame) would be cracking down (no pun intended) on a show that is no longer on the air, and on a medium of yesterday. But we are in an economical downspin, and I would suspect that even the FCC has a quota to fill. But it did get me thinking, how does the FCC intend to patrol the Internet. I mean, ABC is regulated, but Google is not. And according to another yet to be regulated entity under the FCC’s watch, Lycos, the recent appearance of Lindsay Lohan’s remake of Marilyn Monroe in the New York Magazine’s current Spring Fashion issue (where she practically bares it all) –– “sent search activity for Lohan skyrocketing 700 percent.” Now that’s easy math, and certainly equals a greater exposure rate than any rerun of NYPD Blue could — despite how cute Charlotte’s tush might be.

… discoveries. Self or otherwise.

Louis Vuitton’s first ad — ever.

Enjoy. xo

The only things predictable about the Super Bowl this year, was the commercials. As always, there were lots of them. (And lots with animals. Did you notice that too?)

Sad that Tom Brady could not usher in historic wins for both himself and the New England Patriots, but how happy are we for the NY Giants? What a great game! Being called the biggest upset in Super Bowl history, XLII certainly marks a defining moment for the Giant’s brand and Tom Coughlin’s too, its head coach. He’s the real story here (bigger than Sobels dancing lizards and Victoria Secrets football fondling… Cute).

Last year, Tom’s antiquated ways finally caught up to him. Players were despondent and the media soured by his rough and tuff persona. It created lots of tension — and lots of bad press. Giant management was not happy. But Tom was given a reprieve and a request — to lighten up. And he did. Rather quickly, Tom addressed his negative image, involved his team — and reinvented himself. His core messaging (genius) stayed the same, but the way he delivered his message changed. Like any good brand knows, whether you’re leading a pack of tightly clad uniformed hotties to a victorious win, or perhaps just leading your own little parade across a crowded room, you have got to know how to reach and serve your crowd. The old involved me and I will understand. Coughlin’s change proved to be the turning point for a pivotal year and created a cohesiveness that provides a solid platform to launch – and I’m willing to bet — even bigger wins.

Next time you’re feeling like a scrappy underdog, or are at your wit’s end because you are feeling cornered, or perhaps you’re dealing with a beau and thinking, “it’s not me, it’s him (her)” –– think again. And think about Tom’s tremendous turnaround. And think about Tom’s giant win.