Brand Girl™

I’m guessing that by now, you’re familiar with John Mayer’s infamous interview in Playboy Magazine. Yes, the one in which he refers to Jessica Simpson as ““crack cocaine”,” coins the phrase “”sexual napalm”” and confesses to a lusty addiction to pornography. Mayer, in the same unfiltered style, is now hard at work on his “”apology“” tour, rationalizing some of those “overshares,” as well as asking us not to think of him as “another  ”a**hole…”

Personally, I think this direct approach to the public mea culpa works. I also think Tiger Wood’s handlers might want to pull a page or two from the John Mayer playbook. Mayer may be back-pedaling for far less complicated sins, but still, unlike Woods in his recent public statement, he comes across authentically in his regrets for the Playboy hiccups, perhaps illustrating that an honest brand is better than an overly managed one. Or is it a manipulated one?

Haiti. <Sigh.> Horror of horrors indeed. And yet it’s humbling moments like this that seem to unify us as a nation and bring out the best in us (well, most of us). Despite the recessionary environment, pledges of food, supplies, and money keep pouring in—from celebrities, companies, and citizens alike—across the country and globe to provide Haiti with the help its residents most desperately need. George Clooney, naturally, is co-producing the Hope for Haiti telethon, (co-hosted with Wyclef Jean) to broadcast this Friday night across numerous stations. I also read that Brad Pitt (and Angelina Jolie) and Sandra Bullock each donated $1 million, and I’m certain more is to come from the entertainment world.

Much of the financial sector—Citibank, Morgan Stanley, JPMorgan Chase, to name a few companies—have each earmarked an average of $1 million to the cause as well. Now I must pause. <Second sigh.> And I must say, Whoa. $1 million apiece from Wall Street folks? That’s it?

Granted, $1 million is nothing to sneeze at, especially if you’re Haitian. Still, that downtown generosity takes on a different hue when you consider recent activities of the finance industry and its negative effect on this country. Just a year after the crash and bailout, the payouts in banker bonuses are positively in the billions. You read that right—billions. Never has a million seem so… repulsive.

Economist Paul Krugman got it right in this New York Times Op-Ed column. The bankers have had no clue, and as far as I can tell, they remain clueless. Whether they accept responsibility for the financial tailspin or not, they have a bad PR and morale problem that makes the tribulations of Tiger Woods seem like, well, a round of golf. Call me a Pollyanna of sorts, but isn’t there a prime and humanitarian opportunity in all of this for the Wall Street crowd to work on rebuilding its image? Where is the damage control? Clearly, helping Haiti is a start. It’s no accident that the tremors about the big bonus payouts shook up the news cycles the same week Haiti did.

Here’s a thought: Maybe the $100-million dollar pledge by Obama (USA) to Haiti could be subsidized by the boys on Wall Street? Or maybe some of the boys can pay attention to the damage (intentional or not) done at home. Maybe Morgan Stanley could sponsor a spin-off of Extreme Makeover and call it Extreme Bailout.

But then again. I’m a Pollyanna of sorts—and they are bankers without a clue.

Well, there you have it… the drama NBC primetime has been missing. Another rendition of The Biggest Loser—without the skyrocketing Nielsen ratings or the fab new body, that is.

We now know that the experiment by NBC President and CEO Jeff Zucker to move Jay Leno from a successful, lucrative late-night time slot to a one-hour primetime one normally dedicated to drama was a mistake. The related financial gamble—that the cheaper cost of producing talk programming would outweigh any potential drop in ad revenues—was a bust, too. And what about the drop in audience numbers? Simply put, it appears that Zucker was wrong on many levels, and those questionable calls have cost the already bleeding network quite a lot of money.

(On a somewhat related note, I caught some of the Wall Street Barons testifying yesterday, and with regard to risk management, J.P. Morgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon commented that they never stress-tested the idea that housing costs would ever stop rising or fall 40%. Never tested that business model’s viability from a consumer perspective? Really? Hmm. But I digress.)

NBC chairman Jeff Gaspin admitted on Sunday that the [Leno/O'Brien] “solution”–the proposed quick fix to give Leno his old 11:35pm slot back and bump Conan and The Tonight Show to 12:05am–was, in fact, a compromise that wasn’t to either Leno’s or O’Brien’s satisfaction. Indeed, NBC execs privately wondered whether they had damaged all three brands—Leno, O’Brien, and The Tonight Show—in the process. No doubt a few of the mentioned icons (NBC included) will take some sort of brand slap, but as in our Wall Street scenario, we won’t know the extent of the damage until the whole story plays out. But I’m betting that whether O’Brien––or should I call him “Coco”?––retains the 11:35pm slot or not, he’s a winner, Mr. Gaspin (or can I call you Jeff?).

In a few short days, the Internet has gone frantic with support for O’Brien. When I last checked, L.A.-based designer Mike Mitchell’s “I’m with Coco” effort (reminiscent of the Shepard Fairey Obama “art” movement) had close to 80,000 fans. What’s to be gleaned? The generation that embraces Facebook, Twitter and YouTube embraces O’Brien. Yes, there’s an inherent need to preserve an institutional brand like The Tonight Show, but it’s also about letting the show and its brand evolve into the future by connecting with audiences. And social media, acting as a stress test of sorts, strongly indicates that O’Brien is connecting with audiences via new media, much like Obama did. So, Mr. Gaspin. Jeff. Please tell us that you and NBC see this trend and will consider it as part of the programming mix? Perhaps before some other misfire happens (moving 30 Rock and The Office to Friday at 2pm maybe?) and all hell really breaks loose.

Are you familiar with GOOP?

It’s a newsletter put out by Academy Award-winning actress, Gwyenth Paltrow, in which she aims to share bits and pieces from her extraordinary life. “I have this incredible, lucky, unique life where I’ve gotten to travel all over the place and so I started to acquire all of this information. I thought this would be a fun, creative way to share it,” she says. That’s lovely indeed, just like Goop’s current positioning line—”nourish your inner spirit”–and I hope it will grow to do just that. As the concept evolves, I’d love to see the content lean away from safely baked ideas in favor of exposing more of the underbelly of an extraordinary life. Whether or not Paltrow is quietly poising herself to be the next Martha Stewart or to eventually fill the void to be left by Oprah’s departure, she’s got all the right ingredients and the spiritual kitchen is a smart place to cook these days. And if you’re looking for a few immediate recipes yourself––to feed less of your “inner” and more of your “spirit” later tonight––check out Goop’s latest newsletter for New Year’s cocktail recommendations. You may not be at the Ritz in Paree, but at least you can drink like you are.

Happy New Year, kids.

Who says that fashion, eco-friendliness, positive social change, and financial growth don’t mix?

I was in the M&M’s Flagship shop in Times Square hunting for a trinket that would satisfy the insatiable appetite of a chocolate fanatic and was pleasantly surprised to find one that would feed more than a craving––Mitz handbags. Started back in 2003, Mitz is a cooperative in Mexico City that creates job opportunities for its community by transforming recycled plastics of snack wrappers (think M&M’s, Oreo cookies…) into purses and other fashionable accessories. Because of a partnership with Mars Inc., the parent company of M&M’s, some of the “fashionable” Mitz products can now be found in the M&M’s retail stores––fashionable because they’re making a positive difference for our environment, the impoverished community in Palo Solo, Mexico City and for the image of Mars Inc. Learn more about the Mars and Mitz partnership here and about Judith Romano, the firecracker behind the Mitz initiative who truly takes a stand for social change.

This style rookie has recently caught the attention of Rodarte and Target, and will apparently pen a column for Bazaar as in Harper’s––as in for adults.

Is this a good thing?

The recent revelations of Tiger’s shenanigans have revealed a side of his brand persona that is a far cry from the one that has taken shape organically since he turned pro in 1996, the quintessentially American success story that won him the endorsements of many. His perceived image of strength, precision, and sportsmanship has earned multi-millions—through paid corporate sponsorships (with Gillette, Gatorade, and Nike, among many others) and private donations for his foundation. So the question is, how does Tiger’s not-so-stellar performance off the links tarnish his brand value now? The truth is that we will not know the true fall out until “his” whole story is out. But what we do know is that there is a lot at stake for everyone associated with the Woods camp, so initially there’s a strong incentive to keep the billion-dollar machine going. From that vantage point, throwing hush money—allegedly, millions are on offer to get various lovers to disappear and the beleaguered wife to stand by her man—to get back on course, fast, makes perfect cents.

In the end, a sponsor like Cadillac may think twice before sidling up to Tiger to launch the next über-mini van, and Accenture might steer clear of any ad concepts embodying the golf legend as a beacon of trust. Interestingly, however, Tiger never actively espoused the values associated with a family man. It’s more that people assumed they became part of his brand story when he married and had children. And some of us may also be assuming that Tiger is humbled to some degree and now mulling over the holes in his story. But then, you know what they say about assumptions.

The unobservant or incurious shopper could easily mistake eBay’s lavish storefront on 57th Street, parked next door to Bergdorf’s and a stone’s throw away from Apple on 5th, for its NYC corporate headquarters. However, this “pop-up” storefront—filled to the brim with personal shoppers, samples of eBay’s current inventory and spanking brand-new Apple iMac’s for your use—will help both buyer and seller through the online bidding experience. Part of a 12-city national tour, eBay’s successful pop-up retail venture is the latest strategy being used to bring the “eBay experience” alive, just in time for the holidays. Whether browsing or buying, act fast… it’s only operating for nine short days. www.ebayholiday.com

Go Humans Go is the rallying cry from Quaker Oats new campaign. The endeavor represents the first time PepsiCo has marketed its entire whole grain product line underneath one centralized theme.  The campaign’s premise is to present oats as a super grain that helps humans harness internal power to do good for themselves, others and their communities. Not only is Quaker Oats a great staple for a healthy diet, it’s seemingly a healthy model for the new media marketing menu.

Why the kudos? First off, the campaign uses what it holds: a solid ownership of oats and a brand icon with more household penetration than that of Aunt Jemima* (I haven’t verified that… but I’m guessing it’s true.). They even gave the little man a brand lift by placing him in modernized situations. His recent graphic adaptation to all packaging is helping consumers recognize the huge breathe of products under the Quaker portfolio. (For instance, did you know that Life cereal was actually part of the Quaker lineup?)  Of course there’s an all encompassing website, and the little man is popping up on Twitter and Facebook. But it’s the affiliation with Bravo’s hottest show, Top Chef (which includes a recipe contest with top-rated judging) that truly boosts awareness and drives traffic to all touch points, truly harnessing the power of social media.

The “Go Human Go” promotion also works in a tie-in with celebrity chef and philanthropist Art Smith that segues nicely into Quakers cause marketing effort. Through a partnership with “Share our Strength,” the “Quaker Go” Project allows you to fight childhood hunger in the United States and even in your community. (Did you know more than 36 million Americans – including 12.6 million kids go hungry?) Quaker will apparently donate 10 servings of a Quaker product per every product you buy (i.e., UPC code you enter) and –– hello all you do good-ers –– the program will even consider giving you a grant to do more good within your own backyard.

It’s a well-balanced program and fitting for today. At a time when individuals and companies are forced to work leaner and meaner, Quaker has harnessed its own power by successfully tapping into these trends to help Americans cut food costs, stay healthy, yet feed a few others.

Looks like the meat is in the grain.
The grain is in you.
Go Humans Go.

“If I were a boy, even just for a day, I roll out of bed in the morning and throw on what I wanted and go…”––from “If I were a boy,” a popular song by Beyonce (a.k.a. SASHA FIERCE).

If Brand Girl were a Brand Boy, even for a day, she would roll out of bed in the morning and say what she wanted––and she’d be Jon Stewart.

It doesn’t quite work as a pop-song lyric, but the point is that like Brand Girl herself, Mr. Stewart has a knack for calling it like he sees it—up front and on camera. And the master of satirical news has done it again. Nobody wants to be mocked by Jon Stewart nor interrogated, but that’s exactly what happened to Jim Cramer, host of CNBC’s Mad Money.

After weeks of batting back media spitballs, Cramer finally met face-to-face with Jon Stewart, Comedy Central’s acclaimed Daily Show slugger, for a show down. Yet the meeting itself was more of a letdown, with Cramer practically served himself up on a silver platter for Stewart to slay. As if Cramer’s public humiliation could serve as a sufficient sacrificial offering to beg the money gods for forgiveness—for the dishonesty, greed, and wrongdoings of Cramer’s fellow financial-minded gurus, for the world’s tumultuous markets, indeed for the topsy-turvy state of our entire nation. It was indeed painful to watch as Stewart did a better-than-fine job of using his pulpit to sermonize. You almost had to feel a little sorry for Cramer in that balancing the job of television entertainment with the more serious job of offering financial expertise—and on managing the corporate purse strings especially—is no easy task. But of all the poignant statements that were made about the financial freefall we’re in, how could you not resonate with Stewart’s overall accusation to Cramer: “… to pretend that this was some sort of crazy, once-in-a-lifetime tsunami that nobody could have seen coming is disingenuous at best and criminal at worst.”

Like the Brand Boy said, everything we have known about the market is in shambles. Period. It’s a whole new game, and you know what, kids, according to my astrologer, it’s far from over. Bailouts, re-worked mortgages, and strings of 40%-off sales are just not going to be enough. Honestly, the money world is in such a state of anarchy that, much like Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner, whose face seems to have a constant deer-in-headlights expression these days, BG finds the whole business paralyzing. It’s as though we are, as a nation, playing an endless, rigged game of Monopoly, and we keep hoping some random act of nature—a gust of wind? an overzealous two-year-old careening through the living room? an overturned bottle of Merlot? the dog ate my mortgage?—upsets the existing board so that we have to wipe it clean and start over, with everyone safely returning to “Go” with a humbling $200 bucks in seed money.

The nation has cried out for change. And change we’ve seen: Obama’s hair has grayed already and he hasn’t been in office 100 days yet. Given that grim backdrop, how is it that Citibank, a bailout recipient whose stock is worth nothing today, continues to bombard the public with federally-funded ads that neither restore consumer confidence nor address past blunders? Should we as a collective be ignoring the irony? This week in particular, there’s much heat over AIG using its bailout funds to honor prior commitments (i.e., executive bonuses). How is it that those prior commitments still hold without any reality-based concessions? We have peeked behind the curtains; we understand there was no wizard, but there was much wizardry—or at least sleight of hand. The bailouts are being used by brands like AIG, Citibank, and Merrill Lynch as mere Band-aids on a body that’s hemorrhaging.

At what point does the bleeding stop and the healing truly start? It is undoubtedly time to revisit the basics of brand integrity, positioning, and core business. How do we advise clients to move forward? How do we as individuals move forward? I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I do know that both personal and corporate brands could benefit from a shot of self-regulation and serious Jon Stewart-esque self-reflection—exactly the qualities that have been so absent on Wall Street and from cable news “experts” like CNBC. And in the meantime, I’ll settle for a little less mad money and a little more Brand Boy Jon Stewart tough love. (And by the way, the next guy I’d line up for a little slapping around is that Chris Brown dude. Then I’ll throw him in a ring with Oprah, her audience, and SASHA FIERCE herself—and let the headlocks and biting begin…)