Brand Girl™

Bristol Palin, part of the now infamous Sarah Palin household, was recently featured in a new anti-pregnancy, public-service announcement (PSA) launched by The Candie’s Foundation. Neil Cole, CEO of the Candie’s fashion brand, launched The Candie’s Foundation in 2001 after discovering that raising awareness about the consequences of teen pregnancy was an issues niche that is severely underserved by corporate America. Since then, a string of celebrities—from Beyoncé, Ciara, and Jenny McCarthy to Vanessa Minnillo, Ashley Tisdale, and Hilary Duff—have strutted their stuff for the fashionable Candie’s Foundation to make an impression on our youth.

As with the aforementioned talent pool, there’s no doubt that Bristol Palin had the best of intentions when she lent her newly earned fame, garnered from her unfortunate situation with Levi Johnston and her subsequent quick launch into early parenting, to The Candie’s Foundation—by serving as both its “Teen Ambassador” and as the headliner in the newest addition to its “Pause… Before You Play” campaign. The latter PSA series uses fairly nuanced messaging: On the surface, it abandons the more bullying, authoritative, and judgmental tones of most abstinence-only promos in favor of a more subtle, friendly, and compassionate “think before you act” approach. But given Candie’s other related messages, which include “I Never Thought I Would Be a Statistic” and “Be Sexy: It Doesn’t Mean You Have to Have Sex,” it’s hard to say whether “Pause…Before you Play” is just a glossier take on that old fear-based “Don’t Do It” line. Regardless of where one falls on the abstinence issue and teens, however, one must question if the message sent by the PSA was ultimately the most compelling one the foundation could drum up. Even if one agrees that abstinence is the best and most realistic way to tackle the teen pregnancy problem, does the ad even truly effectively embody “Pause… Before You Play?” In the PSA, a very serious Bristol, holding her babe in arms, opines aloud:

“What if I didn’t come from a famous family?
What if I didn’t have all their support?
What if I didn’t have all these opportunities?
Believe me, it wouldn’t be pretty…”

The polished, 30-second spot could be misconstrued to imply that “it’s okay that I [Bristol] had sex and got pregnant because I have means and support, but chances are, you don’t, so don’t.” Chalk one up for the Class Wars. Somehow, BG doubts that the folks at Candie’s were trying to say, “Rich kids, have at each other like rabbits, but you poor youngins, back away from the bed, the backseat of the car, the contraception aisle at CVS before it’s too late.” On quick glance, the Palin PSA might even seem more like a trailer for an upcoming reality show than a sincere message that drives home one of the darker consequences of teen sex: ending up a mom at 18. However, given that Bristol Palin is the most famous teenage mom on today’s media circuit, whether the spot is hitting the target audience hard enough or sending some mixed signals could ultimately be irrelevant. After all, the PSA is doing exactly what The Candie’s Foundation and Bristol had hoped. It’s getting folks, however briefly, to take stock and––pause.

So last week, I was an almighty scrubbed up diva holding court in NYC — fending off too much service, sushi and love. And today, an elder sister — holed up on the Outer Banks of North Carolina with an immediate family count that hoovers at 30 — and a woman forced to barter for essentials. It is indeed a lovely beach front home with many desired amenities (hello elevator), but a bedroom count that well… sleeps less. And with this group, neither the amount of Gucci or money you throw holds weight. Just like the open box of Devil Dogs or insane Nutty Bars on the kitchen counter — last person in, gets last picks — if any. So to the amusement of the group, I bunked with the youngest of the childfolk. And yes, I slept on a bunk. Plus side was that the six of us had our own Pacman arcade AND, in exchange for the use of my laptop (to support their Webkinz habit), this rock star aunt got the bathroom all to herself.

Once settled, the six of us made our way to the heart of the kitchen for the afore-mentioned snacks and nestled among the ungodly amounts of many childhood fat-filled carbs was Alli.

Yes, the first FDA approved fat blocker was in the house. I’ve seen the displays as I troll the aisles of Rite Aid in Los Angeles — the capital of ubber-thin folks (where pyschologically I can still feel that my years of eating too many Oreos as a child are still nicely embedded in my thighs). So seduced by the possibility of enjoying free-flowing handfuls of Dibs like my bunkmates, I immediately reclaimed my laptop.

Here’s the string and the skinny…

http://www.myalli.com/

http://www.palmbeachpost.com/accent/content/accent/epaper/2007/06/24/a7d_alli_drug_0624.html

http://www.skinnyondiets.com/Orlistat.html?b=8277&GCID=S15771x274&KEYWORD=orlistat&gclid=CJnh-e7h9YwCFRrJYAodnQQU_A

http://www.skinnyondiets.com/MiracleBurn.html?b=8277&GCID=S15771x274&KEYWORD=orlistat&gclid=CJnh-e7h9YwCFRrJYAodnQQU_A

Here’s where my dieting ends…

http://www.frenchwomendontgetfat.com/?cm_mmc=JandL-_-R20319-_-CPA-_-Cpa&keycode=R20319

… and where the fun begins as my laptop was again confiscated by the Webkinz loving crowd.

o OOo Paris. *sigh*

I think, that for today’s diet, a glass of Champagne would work nicely with one of those Dove covered strawberries on the counter. ;> Happy summer living folks!

Ahhh, Burger King. The Kwasnicki’s grew up as a Burger King family. The reason? Two-for-one Whoppers, of course – how else do you feed an army? (Remember when you had to sell the World’s Finest Chocolate bars as a school fundraiser? The ones with the “buy one Whopper, get one free” coupon on the wrapper? The Kwasnickis, of course, had plenty of wrappers to redeem because — hello, I have seven siblings — and we ate the chocolate before even trying to sell it. Although no one ever confessed to eating the chocolate.) Plus, this girl needed her Burger King crown. Parading around in paper pageantry really made my day. (I’m just sayin.) But on a recent road trip with the assorted nieces and nephews (ten or so), the subject of lunch came up almost immediately. I learned quickly that this group was hands down a Ronald McDonald crowd.* Burger King was a distant second. Hmmm… exactly how they’re preceived in the trades.

“In what animal welfare advocates are describing as a “historic advance,” Burger King, the world’s second-largest hamburger chain, said yesterday that it would begin buying eggs and pork from suppliers that did not confine their animals in cages and crates.” Some industry folks are balking that BK has taken the lead position in an area that greatly contrasts with its bad-boy and shock-jock image, and politically incorrect messaging and portions – have you seen BK’s Texas Burger spot?

But BK has been in the game long enough to know about keeping a eye on trends related to your business and poising yourself to accomodate in some way or shape. And although BK’s immediate goal (“… 2 percent of its eggs to be “cage free,” and for 10 percent of its pork to come from farms that allow sows to move around inside pens, rather than being confined to crates…”) appears diffident: they’re the first. And they will be known for being both the first and the catalyst that eventually shook more to follow suit within the fast food category. And so the King will score more jewels as he firmly holds his prized (second place) position.

*And Burger King – for what ever it’s worth – upon further analysis of my little focus group, I learned that the McDonalds draw for these kids was neither the Incredibles toy give-aways, nor the fully equipped play-spaces. It all boiled down to the fried potatoes. As my nephew Jackson said, “they may all be serving the same thing [Aunt Barbara], but it’s all about the way it’s fried.” (Apparently he’s not a boy watching his waist… yet.)

… or in the child-folk?

Sadly, I will *not* be attending the Tribeca Film Festival this year, but you can. The box office is open and Mom’s day is not so far away. ESPN is now in the game, so there’s also something there for the boys (men) in your life. Interesting that the hot tickets are about what the kids are doing. Last year it was the heart-warming urban Mad Hat Ballroom. This year it’s a chilling Jesus Camp. Is this a barometer of where the next gen is headed? Maybe you should ask him or Mom.

Watch Jesus Camp teaser now.

Last night was the season premiere of Grey’s Anatomy and… where does a girl begin? (With him of course.)

McDreamy, McGuilty, McMarried, McGorgeous.

Yes, yes, yes. Delicious eye and mind candy between the likes of a Patrick Dempsey and Chris O’Donnell. And dialing up the “McDreamy” factor is hello, the plotline: “duking it out over the girl.” That’s McCrazy. Good lord, it rarely happens that one decent man musters it up and confesses his love to a gal, never mind two at the same time. That girl should play lotto. I’m still power pointing out the concept for one fellow that supposedly knows better (who btw, is now referred to as – lovingly, of course, – being “McDead” to me).

McMusic. You have to credit the Grey team for channeling Zach Braff (of Garden State and The Last Kiss fame) and weaving itself into pop culture with a current soundtrack. Riding on the brand coattails of your featured artists, like Fray, to heighten awareness and potentially trickle into new crowds is a very smart and strong play.

It seems ABC has found a unique niche in reaching its 30-40 crowd with a show like Grey or even Something about Brian. ABC is pretty much replaying its earlier success with thirtysomething back in the late 80′s. (I’m McAging.) For TV buffs, Ken Olin, who starred in thirtysomething, currently produces a new show called Brothers & Sisters, featuring Calista Flockhart. It makes its debut this Sunday on ABC, yet I understand the critics have already panned it. (I’m not sure where I heard that. Was it while lunching at Chaya or lounging at the Mondy with Entourage boy…?) Regardless, judge for yourself. I’m not likely to tune in given I have plenty of sibs (eight is truly enough). It takes just one quick dial on the Treo back east to unleash enough drama for a week, never mind a sunday night. But I digress.

And one more digression: I’m not a tv junkie (that would be my sister Christine), but, I’m on extended stay in LA. And well, this is LA.

Ladies, let’s pay attention. Yes, we can certainly identity with Meredith about the concept of dating inappropriately, the scary and the damaged, but check out the McStare. I know that stare, you know that stare. We have perfected that stare. It’s a power pause, and let’s not forget that when used appropriately it can make a grown man cry, inappropriately or not.

And finally we have the McPanties. That was perfect: a) terrific product placement, b) I’m guessing they’re Cosabella. And c), they’re begging for a sponsored contest or blog. Everyone has a story about panties. Ones we lost, some that traveled and well, some that were taken. Yes taken (a.k.a. stolen). What about you?

Seth Godin is a favorite of mine. I came to know of Seth and his work when hired (geez, over 10 years ago) to be part of the team that very successfully (ahem) launched Fast Company Magazine. It was a wonderful time for business (the new economy), and Bill Taylor and Alan Webber were on the scene first, both capturing and propelling the movement with its much touted rag. It was an equally wonderful time in marketing with visionaries like Seth and Tom Peters popping on the scene putting marketing and ad folks alike on their toes. It was a time when the phrase branding was unofficially coined and tossed around; and it was a time that creatives and account executives were finally lunching – together. To this day I still follow Seth and oddly enough (there are no accidents), I stumbled upon something he wrote that referenced the very thing I wrestled with when considering the launch of this blog. Where do you start?

Unless you’re a skimmer (and at times I’m), nobody likes to pick up a book and start in the middle, yet, with many blogs that’s exactly what happens. You enter mid-act. So no, I can’t fill in all the blanks. It would be impossible for me to recall in all its glorious detail all that went on that brought me to this day, to this blog – to Brand Girl.

(For a shorter read, you can omit the following rant:) [That she, ("she" being the idea) was originally inspired as a television or cable show. She the tv treatment was to be an experiment in "branded entertainment," the then new buzz in marketing, and well, I was to be a new buzz in entertainment. (Or so I thought.) I had envisioned her as a "Sex and the City meets South Park." She was to be animated, and delivered in shorts. Then after more musings and meetings with "those that know better," she moved to a traditional sitcom (a la "Sex and the City meets Archie Bunker"). Everyone loved my characters and wanted more, and most importantly, not once was I told to "stick to my day job." So I was encouraged, repeatedly to a) move to Los Angeles, b) take acting classes, and c) write... and write a book. Yes, I was told by one producer that you were no one until you had a book, well at least in LA. So in an attempt to become someone in LA, and up my odds of selling a show, she was wrapped into a book, and officially birthed and named Brand Girl. I then ran around with the Brand Girl book, and now, no one seemed interested in a sitcom, because now, (say it with me) reality tv had conquered the world. (Enter: Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.) And Brand Girl was so damn pretty: smart, sexy and instructive. I was told to save the sitcom for later, "what you need to do now, is to reposition and rewrite (ugh) Brand Girl as a self-help book and guru. She needs to be like a Dr. Phil meets the Advice Goddess."And let's not forget about the producer that's begging me (still to this day) to consider the one-woman shows citing success that rival those of a Vagina Monologues. The concept alone of performing material absorb way too many hours of self examination – talk about throwing a girl off her brand. (Did I on some innate scary level what to be a star? A quasi Oprah. GOOD LORD NO. Well, maybe. I would do it for George... ) Yes, it would be daunting to catalogue the merry-go-round that one encounters when shopping an entertainment project, wrapping up a perfectly-coifed life back east (or so I thought), and moving – extended stay or not – to LA. Now there's a book begging to be written. I would call it: "How to Avoid Being Lost in LA." (Publishers: take note of the self help angle. I'm learning.) And it would begin like this, "...one most factor in between six to nine months (yes almost a year) right off the bat for pure NYC detox. It's a very dark time and place. A coma-like stage where you walk around in denial, among the other homeless, muttering things (out-loud) like: what the hell did I do?, why am I dating C minus men? (he didn't work back east, why on earth would he work west), where's my gucci suit?, where's Bobby De Niro?, do you have a quarter? (who knew about the meters?), and hello, why am I in LA? YET, this is my reality.] (And this is the end of my rant.)

This blog attempts to capture all that transpires in the world of branding and the makings of a brand girl, and this ones personal struggle to retain and define her own identity (and life) within the realm of the BG brand, whether it be business, boys or living in LA.

And ironically enough, (again, there are no accidents), it was five years ago on this very day, when the world at large was heavily reminded that life is precious, and for some of us quite short. It was a time to examine and relearn all that was important. And on that very day, as I ran haphazardly in the dark clouds that suffocated lower manhattan, I swore, among other things that I would try life differently.

This is me, five years later, Kwas (a.k.a. Brand Girl, live wire and of late, “walking content”), finally doing life differently. Although I’m happy that I have done more than try, I still have to wonder (out-loud) why… LA?

I share the above openly and lovingly for your entertainment and geez, maybe I will actually inspire someone. But if any show comes out that remotely smells like a “Kwas, or a Sex and the City done All in the Family style” – animated, one woman or not, despite being lost in LA and scared of my Treo 700, you should know that there are two numbers that I know by heart. One would be my Moms, and the other, my lawyer.
xo

Is it now politically correct
to be fiscally responsible?

Shopping at discount stores is making more sense to an increasingly dollar-conscious consumer. Yes, I am dollar-conscious. Despite what my dad (a.k.a. my creative accountant) might think, I know exactly where my conscience is, and exactly where my dollars are spent. Yet, I still enjoy the ever-so-decadent stroll through a fashionable boutique, and the rush of the even more decadent purchase. I do realize that any drop at such a store could potentially buy a season’s worth of outfits at Target for my five nieces – as my sisters are quick to remind me. There was a time my new pair of Manolo Blahnik or Miu Miu shoes would draw looks of both envy and respect from them – hence honoring the trifecta of shoes, watch, haircut. But is it me, or my brand conscience, that now sees a disapproving gleam in those looks? One that triggers memories of Sister Mary Austin back in high school, eyeing my too-short uniform skirt. And memories of my mom’s icy glare (which her genes transferred to me) as the girl went in for a second helping of the – “do you really need those?” – mashed potatoes. (I *love* mashed potatoes.)

Is it wrong that the shoes on my feet cost as much as a swingset at Costco? (Yes, both Jenn and Christine, told me.) In my defense, both the shoes and the swingset carried loads, and they both serve a purpose for each household. Plus, I can swing in my Blahniks. Even though I live in a household of one with enough disposable income for more, should I always be pinching pennies?